Arizona Midwives Under Fire? Let Your Voice Be Heard!

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0.24_0.23_0_0_189_140_csupload_39302471If you’re not closely connected to the natural birth community in Arizona, you may not have heard about the recent rewrite of the Midwives Scope of Practice. The process began a few months ago, with the original intent being to expand the rules to include VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) and breech births. An advisory board was created to work together to help create the new rules, and public meetings have been held to give consumers the chance to comment on the changes.

As the conversation has unfolded, the department has released ongoing drafts of the rules for public comment. The most recent draft is open for comment right now, and a final draft will be posted for public comment at the end of May. As each draft has been released, it has become more and more apparent that the scope of practice is in many ways becoming further restricted instead of more inclusive. The ability for midwives to practice without fear of prosecution is indeed in danger. At this time, it is EXTREMELY important that people are submitting comments, emails, Facebook posts, etc pointing out the issues that exist in the current draft.

Why does it matter? Well, even if you never find yourself in a position to choose a home birth in the state of Arizona, these amended rules as they stand will limit a woman’s bodily autonomy by affecting her ability to choose the birth setting she desires. The point is not whether or not home birth is right for you, it’s that we should all be able to choose whatever model of care that we desire and deem appropriate. The medical model of care in a hospital setting is right for some women, but others will only succeed at their desired birth experience with the different type of care and support that only a midwife provides.

What are some of the major issues with this draft of the new rules?

-Medication: Midwives in Arizona are currently allowed access to certain medications that would be deemed life-saving in the event of an emergency such as hemorrhage. The current draft removes any mention of the legality of a midwife possessing medications of any kind. This would GREATLY decrease the safety of home birth moms and babies.

-Chain of Events in Case of Emergency: The current draft requires a midwife to stop and call 911 before beginning any treatment in the case of an emergency.

-Contacting the Local Hospital: This draft requires midwives to call the Charge Nurse at the nearest hospital to notify them whenever a client goes into labor. The midwife must call again once the baby has been born.

-VBAC Restrictions: The draft specifically states that a midwife cannot attend a VBAC if the original cesarean was performed due to failure to progress or cephalopelvic insufficiency. The problem here is that these diagnoses are considered “catch-all” terms and are considered over-diagnosed even within the medical community.

-Patients Right to Choose: The current language requires a laundry list of mandatory testing, and states that a midwife must discontinue care of her client if the patient refuses these tests. A woman should have the right to be educated on the purpose of each test and choose what she wants to include without being threatened with loss of a care provider.

-Written Recommendation from a Physician: This draft includes a requirement for a written recommendation from a physician to attend the birth for some clients. Because a physician is highly unlikely to provide this recommendation due to potential liability themselves, this could be highly restrictive to the type of care that a midwife can provide.

The full text of the current draft of rules can be seen here.

Please join us in making sure that our voices are heard in support of Arizona midwives and a woman’s right to choose the type of birth she wants! It is my understanding that you do NOT have to be in the state of Arizona to submit a comment. Here is the link to submit comments to the department.

And here are some sample comments to help further clarify the issues that are being contested:

“R9-16-110 of the draft is looking to include a “written recommendation from a physician for treatment, referral, or transfer of care at the time a client is determined to have any of the following treatment…” The current rules do NOT require written recommendations. The purpose of the rule revision was to REDUCE burden. Not only is this INCREASING burden, but it is requiring midwives to do something that may be impossible. ACOG does not support formal agreements between homebirth practitioners and physicians. A written recommendation may be seen as that by a physician, making it impossible for a midwife to follow the rules. What will happen to the midwife and client if the midwife is not able to attain that written recommendation? The midwife will not be following her rules and the client may be in jeopardy of having to transfer care. Evidence should be provided to show WHY this INCREASE of burden is being added. Was oral consultation not sufficient? In your definition consultation means “communication between a midwife and physician”. Communication can be oral OR written. Do not restrict care by insisting that communication only written. Oral communication is sufficient and often preferable for a midwife and client. Above all, I stand by the bill which reads “reducing the regulatory burden on midwives”. Written recommendations do NOT reduce the burden.”

“Please add the following statement to the rules for licensed midwives….
In order to maintain patient autonomy, the state of Arizona recognizes that the patient may exercise their right to informed refusal for any of the above recommendations and guidelines – and, through written refusal, continue care with the midwife absolving her of legal responsibility/risk for the direct outcome as a result of that refusal. The pregnant patient has the legal right to self determination.”

“I am extremely grateful to see that VBAC is still included in the drafts. I believe this is a huge step in the right direction. It shows that the department is listening to the concerns of the consumers. I appreciate that more options are being opened up to the growing number of women who desire to achieve a VBAC. However, I have GREAT concern with some of the conditions suggested. It currently reads that a midwife can not attend a VBAC if their was a diagnosis of “failure to dilate” or cephalopelvic insufficiency”. I heard in the last meeting that it is supposed to read “failure to progress”. That does not make the problem better. Failure to progress, failure to dilate and cephalopelvic insufficiency/disproportion are ALL unacceptable. There is NO literature to support this rule. Listen to the members of the committee, including those from the medical community, who have mentioned may times that FTP is over diagnosed. FTP only tells you that a mother did not progress. It did not tell you WHY she did not progress. What if there was failed induction? What if it is an emotional issue that stalled labor? What if the baby was in a poor positioning? Maybe the care provider followed the Friedman’s Curve, which does NOT allow the typical mother enough time to labor to full dilation? There are too many variables in play. A woman should not be excluded from attempting a VBAC because she had a failed induction, an emotional block, a baby in a poor position, an impatient care provider, etc. Because the diagnosis of FTP does NOT explain WHY the woman had a cesarean section, it should NOT be used to determine whether or not she is capable of vaginal delivery. CPD is also highly disputed in the literature. It is difficult to ever give a TRUE diagnosis of CPD. The testing is unreliable. FTP and CPD are subjective, over diagnosed and would be completely inappropriate in the rules. Director Humble mentioned that if he allows VBAC, he does not want to make it so restrictive that no one can do it. Leaving in FTP and CPD would essentially make it impossible for most VBAC clients to qualify for a homebirth VBAC. Consumers and members of the committee have been asking from the beginning that this be removed from the rules. Listen to these important stakeholders!”

For more information and to stay updated on future meetings and drafts, please join the Rights for Homebirth facebook group here.

Loving Kindness and Unbalanced Relationships

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As I learned more about yoga over the last few years, I was taught about the value of ahimsa, non-harm of self and others. Even beyond the yoga world, it seems that this idea of kindness to all is everywhere I look lately. Loving all living things, as we are all connected. I love this concept, but I recently discovered a deeper clarity around it. To put it simply, I was taking these values of loving, kindness, and giving to others way too far in my life. My relationships were at best unbalanced, and at worst unhealthy. In attempts to not be judgmental of others, I refused to look at the truths of some of the people I was surrounded by.

Now, I still believe that kindness and love are extremely valuable. However, I am learning to be honest with myself about the effects that certain people have. The reality of life is that there are some people in the world who are energy draining. You can become aware of who these people are in your world by tuning into the responses you feel in your body when you are in their space. I often respond by feeling suddenly exhausted, getting a headache, or feeling sick to my stomach. Sometimes I feel tension come over me, or a new pain somewhere. When you have a specific response around a specific person, it often means that you are feeling their energy, not your own.

For me, it is important to remember that often these people have no real concept of their energy- they are unaware of their ability to change it, control it, or even how it affects those around them. We are all doing the best we can with our own individual levels of awareness. And this is where non-judgment plays a role. I make my best efforts to recognize where a person is coming from and to accept them as they are. However, I can accept and even love them without continuing the relationship. I really try to control my speech around these issues, creating a clear awareness around the reality of the energy I feel without slandering the source. In other words, this isn’t a call to abandon a friendship and then proceed to talk all kinds of crap about the person. If and when you choose to walk away, let it be a clean break. Otherwise, you are still feeding them your energy as you engage in all the drama you are creating around them.

My most recent lesson has been this: It is best, it is okay, it is right to honor your own wellness and remove yourself from someone’s space if they are draining your energy. In fact, because you are avoiding energetic harm to yourself, doing so DOES follow the principles of ahimsa.

So what if, in order to remove yourself from this person’s space, you have to cut off a relationship and that could hurt them? Are you causing them harm? Is it a question of whose well being is more important? Is one of you more valuable than the other? This is a challenging place to be, to say the least. I believe that there is a difference between HURTING someone and HARMING someone. The Universe carries us through many shifts and changes that really hurt, but in the end, those hardships fueled our growth. The changes were positive, once we processed the hurt. I do not believe that we are meant to live life without ever feeling hurt, because it is just so essential in our evolution. Therefore, there are going to be times when we will need to cut off certain relationships, and it may hurt someone’s feelings. Guess what? It is still okay to put yourself first and honor what you need. Ending a connection in a respectful way does not cause harm.

All in all, I’m starting to look for an energetic balance in my relationships with other people. Recognizing which friendships honor both parties involved, and feeding those connections. Achieving balance in my life has been a long term lesson for me, focusing on this one aspect of that has made all the difference.

Are you aware of any relationships in your life that are unbalanced energetically? Have you considered what the affects are of maintaining connections with people who drain your energy? How are you feeling about protecting your space and your energy by cutting those ties? My advice to you is this: love yourself, and always find a way to honor what you feel.

Honoring The Experience of Negative Emotions

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How to deal with so-called “negative” emotions is something that I have been learning a lot about recently. These feelings that arise can be so hard to come to terms with. I think that most of us feel like something is wrong when they keep coming up. But what if it just means that we are ready for a new lesson? How to honor ALL of our emotional experiences, and move through them in a graceful and appropriate way. Perhaps it is time to admit that we all feel a full range of emotions, nobody is exempt from the “negative” ones.

What makes us consider certain emotions to be negative? I believe it’s that we’ve been taught to feel uncomfortable with them, because our teachers in life were uncomfortable with them, because their teachers were, and so on. True, these types of feelings can be extremely destructive if left unchecked. But all we have to do is look around to see that labeling these emotions as “negative” or “dangerous” and denying them expression has not in the least bit removed them from our human experience. Instead, I think it would be safe to say that anger, jealousy, rage, frustration, and stress are running rampant in our world, even if just under the surface. So how can we find a new approach?

What does it mean when you feel these emotions? Does it mean that something is wrong with you? Does it mean that you’re not spiritual or enlightened enough? Does it mean you don’t meditate enough or do enough yoga? These are the thoughts that we have to move past. I have been feeling a lot of anger in the past few weeks, to be honest with you. I am uncovering so much stored up anger within, years and years of unexpressed emotion. How is it possible that I have spent years working on exploring my internal experience, and am just now encountering all of these feelings? Perhaps I wasn’t prepared to face all of this before. Perhaps, in the past, I would have judged myself to be somehow broken to feel this way. I would have judged myself to be not good enough. I might have delved headfirst into spiritual practices, trying to fix my negative ways. Perhaps some unconscious awareness of this deep-seated frustration was what drove me to explore yoga and meditation in the first place. Who knows?

What I do know is that now, I am facing a new challenge in my world. I am becoming aware of every time that I experience a negative emotion, seeing myself tempted to zip my lips and leave the room. My tendency, my learned way, has always been to dig a deep grave and toss what I’m feeling down to the bottom of it. I grew up skilled in the arts of pretending away any unsightly emotional experience. I thought this was what kept me safe, my armor. Armor, indeed, that only truly kept everyone else out. Undoing that now has been a challenging process. I find myself getting angry, frustrated, or annoyed and I have to be conscious of staying with it. Not letting it define who I am, not becoming an angry person, but honoring that in that moment I am angry. And it’s okay to be angry, as long as I don’t use my anger to lash out. I breathe. I explain to who or whatever is the source of my anger (or just out loud to myself) that I am feeling angry. I talk about why I am feeling angry. I laugh at myself a bit when I’m feeling angry over something that I know is small, but I still allow myself the right to feel that emotion.

And then I find myself on the other side of it. My entire being is free from the weight of holding anger inside, and the moment had passed. If it involves a conflict with another person, then acknowledging how I feel in a non-inflammatory way has lead to open and constructive conversation. Even if it doesn’t, even if I offend someone, it’s still worth being true to myself and how I feel. We are not meant to be without certain emotions, they are all a part of what it means to be human. Honor yourself and how you feel, love and always forgive yourself. This is how we move forward.

Coming Back From Defeat

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It is hard to face defeat. It is even more difficult when that defeat is bitter, involving a whole range of emotions from anger to guilt to heartbreak.

We all face failure at times, moments when we realize that things are not going to go as planned. There is no more righting the ship, it’s simply time to jump overboard and let it go. I created a business that embodied my passion. I loved what I was doing, what I was able to provide for women in my community. But that doesn’t mean that I did everything right. Just because I was doing what I really want to be doing in this life, doesn’t mean that I was doing it in the best way possible.

People tell me that this is just the way it’s meant to be. When a door closes, a window opens. And while I believe that to be true, life always goes on, I still need to take the time to honor my own emotional process. And so, I have been grieving the loss. It’s been just over two months now, yet feels like much longer. I have not made any attempts to brainstorm what I want to do next beyond occasional private sessions. My heart is still in pain and I am not ready to pull my big visions out of the closet yet. For a while, I felt useless because I am at a complete standstill. However, I am willing to allow that sometimes processing through deep, heavy, and old emotions is enough to take on without any external appearance of accomplishment. Whatever I do each day is enough, because I am enough, and I am deserving of some downtime to sort this all out properly.

I have hurt people in the process. That has been one of the most challenging parts to face. I’m ready to let that go, because I see that hurting people is sometimes a part of life. The truth was, I had taken on supporting much more than was healthy for me. I had more people depending on me for more than I could possibly give. I was suffering. My family was suffering. And the only way to get all of that weight off my back was to let everyone else down. I see that clearly, and I understand it to be part of the reason why many people simply choose to continue to carry the weight. I wanted to keep doing what I was doing, even though it wasn’t balanced. I wanted to keep giving, because that’s where I thought that my value came from. If I was always giving, supporting everyone around me, than how could anyone dislike me? Now I realize that being disliked is sometimes necessary. My value comes from how much I value myself, first and foremost. Being liked by everyone is never possible when we live from our truth. Likeability is often the direct result of compromising oneself to please other people, and I won’t live that way anymore.

So I have drawn a line in the sand, so to speak. I have created a strong boundary for myself. I no longer give my energy in uneven exchanges. My health and well being, and that of my children (one yet unborn), are my primary concerns. I still have a lot of emotions to work through, I’m still encountering moments of anger, guilt, sadness- but that’s okay. I am moving forward.

Jump, And The Net Will Appear…

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Where have I been? That’s a good question. I’ve been riding some pretty tumultuous waves for the last few weeks, culminating in a very abrupt closure of my business yesterday afternoon. Temporary closure, as my intention is set firmly on moving forward as soon as possible.

It has been a really emotional 24 hours. A lot of sudden shifts are appearing all around me. I was expecting life to be business as usual, and instead, here I am at a stand-still.

I decided to step out to the public and make it known that I was having trouble. It took a lot to do that. My ego-self was screaming “NOOOOO!” the whole time. I can still hear it in some moments here and there, protesting the public admittance that my plans have gone awry. I feel a bit naked in front of a crowd. I am a seeming failure, I should be so embarrassed. Yet, I can feel that this is just another shift. It might not look as such from the outside, but from within- my business was unhealthy. I had created it as such because I, too, was unhealthy. My energy was going everywhere except for the places that it needed to be. I was sacrificing myself, all the way to the brink of possibility, to support the healing of others. I was giving everything I had away, forgetting about self-care (the very tenet at the core of my mission). How could it continue in that way?

The answer is that it couldn’t. And just like when we, as individuals, are going about things in a really self-depleting way, the Universe stepped in and put a stop to it. My business was so sick, that the Universe essentially checked it in to the hospital for some complete bed rest. Just like in our own lives, for it to change, the business has to undergo a painful transformation. Leaving our old ways behind is hard. It’s emotional, it’s gut-wrenching, it’s a test of our will to move forward in a new way. We cry, we scream, we cry some more. Most people think we may have lost our minds, but a few see that the path is indeed on the other side of the mountain.

Transition is a difficult place to be.

And yet, here I am. I still have my family. I still have a life. I still have a heart full of love. I still have all the passion in the world for my mission through Guru Momma. I will survive. My work will survive. All appears to be lost, and yet, nothing has been lost at all except for an old, limiting belief system. I am strong and steady, standing still, patiently anticipating my next step.

(If you’d like to support my mission, you can read my letter about fundraising here: www.gurumomma.com)

 

The Moment of Silence Before The Return of Tremendous Sound

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I have been quiet here lately. I am in the “in between”. I feel like a caterpillar in the cocoon stage, and I’m not quite ready to step out and share my words. I have jumped off the proverbial cliff and I am in the precious and swift moments of glorious freefall. I am grinning with the excitement of it all, but I am not sure what the landing looks like yet. I’m letting it come, I’m trusting it to be whatever I need.

One thing I’ve always loved is driving in the rain, the moment when the car reaches an overpass. And you go from the sound of torrential downpour to complete silence for just a few seconds. Then back to what seems like tremendous sound. That is where I am, in the sweet silence that only lasts a short while, enjoying it before the moment passes.

So in the meantime, let me share with you a passage that I read the other day from a book called “What I Wish For You” by Patti Digh:

“Experience. Dream. Risk. Close your eyes and jump. Enjoy the free fall. Choose exhiliration over comfort. Choose magic over predictability. Choose potential over safety.

Wake up to the magic of everyday life. Make friends with your intuition. Trust your gut. Discover the beauty of uncertainty. Know yourself fully before you make promises to another.

Make millions of mistakes so that you will know how to choose what you really need. Know when to hold on and when to let go. Love hard and often and without reservation.

Seek knowledge. Open yourself to possibility. Keep your heart open, your head high, and your spirit free. Embrace your darkness along with your light. Be wrong every once in a while, and don’t be afraid to admit it. Awaken to the brilliance in ordinary moments.

Tell the truth about yourself no matter what the cost. Own your reality without apology. See goodness in the world. Be bold. Be fierce. Be grateful. Be wild, crazy, and gloriously free. Be you.

Go now, and live.”

Women’s Lunar Wisdom

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Last night, my friend Aubrey and I hosted a Women’s Lunar Wisdom circle at the studio. A group of us gathered, and we spoke about what the energy of the New Moon and the Summer Solstice were bringing into our lives. I thought that I would share with you some of what we discussed.

We have been experiencing a lot of energetic shifts in the Universe lately- with so many unique and rare planetary events taking place. This week, we are experiencing the New Moon in Gemini (yesterday) and then today is the Summer Solstice and the sun has shifted into Cancer.

What is a solstice? It means “sun stands still”- so the sun rises and sets in the same place for three days. This time gives us pause to reflect on all that we have accomplished since the Winter Solstice. To climb up on the proverbial mountain and look back over the path that we have taken- recognizing all that we have been through. It is also time to set the stage for the next few months, setting our intentions going forward.

New Moon is a time for manifestation. It is also a time for setting our intentions, sending the Universe a message about what it is that we are calling into our lives. Because the New Moon and the Solstice are happening so close together, there is an extremely high level of energy around our power of manifestation right now. The Law of Attraction is most definitely at play in a strong way. What you think about the most is what you will manifest in your life, and what you believe will materialize is what you will actualize. Be very aware of your thought patterns, any loops that run through your mind regularly. Are you focusing on what you do want, or focusing on what you don’t want? Shift your thoughts to focus on what you want to manifest, or else you will be calling the things you don’t want to materialize in your life. You are much more powerful than you may realize in determining what happens in your world, and it is essential to be aware of what you are creating.

Being in Gemini, this New Moon was unique because it was the second in a row that fell under Gemini. The energy of this particular moon has a lot to do with communication- looking at how we can improve our communication, both with ourselves and with others. Because the Solstice is the following day, the energy of Gemini will come with us through the fall. Gemini is all about playfulness, fun, adaptability, creativity, and lively energy.

The Solstice today is under the sign of Cancer, which is all about self-care, love, releasing ego, and home/family life. Now is the time to stop making excuses, and begin to make self-care a top priority in your life. Whatever it is that you can do to recharge your energy stores, you should invest time in- whether it’s a hot bath, a massage, a yoga class, a nap, some alone time, etc. Ask your body what it needs from you to feel better, and then see if you can say yes. It’s time to stop depleting your energy by giving it away to the people around you. Create clear boundaries for yourself, and learn to say no when someone requests too much of you.

Also, the planetary alignment beings up an opportunity for more clarity around ego- how ego limits our true expression of self. It is good to remember that however we are right now is absolutely perfect. There is no need to force ourselves to live up to some impossible ideal. Recognizing that we have already accomplished so much will help with this. Reflect on the ways that ego and the fear of failure may be holding you back from moving forward.

I love having the opportunity to gain a greater awareness of what is going on in the Universe so that I can look at how it may be showing up in my life. Most of the time, when I’m researching for these events, it’s like a bunch of light bulbs going off in my head! It’s amazing that so many aspects of the moon’s energy are already starting to appear in my thoughts, emotions, relationships, etc. I honestly believe that we are meant to live from a place of greater connection to the natural world, and we are truly affected by it whether we realize it or not!

Presence

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I was in the car yesterday morning, making the 45 minute drive to the studio for what felt like the millionth time. I was thinking about the classes that I was on my way to teach. Monday mornings start with Power Yoga at 9:30am, and it hasn’t been the most popular time slot lately. Apparently, nobody wants to get out of bed first thing on Monday morning and come in to sweat their @*$ off with me… So anyway, I was driving in and thinking about whether or not anyone was going to come to class that morning. Worrying. And I realized, that for all of my efforts to remain present, that was not what was happening for me in my regular day to day. It was such a habit to let my thoughts wander when I was driving, that I wasn’t allowing myself to be clear mentally and just DRIVE.

Now, when I teach lately, and when I practice, I’ve been focusing quite a bit on the concept of being present. What does it mean to be present? And how often are we actually accomplishing that?How does being present change our experience in life?

In our culture, we are taught that it is responsible to plan for the future. We think about what we will do next, when we will do it. We save for the future, when we might need extra money. And we are taught that if you are a “good” person, you will be planning ahead all of the time.

What does all of this focused thought on the future actually create in our lives?

For many of us, this is the source of constant stress, worry, fear, and doubt. We worry that something in the future could go wrong. That is a big one!! We stress about income and savings accounts, because we might get caught without money at some point in the future. Also, a very common stress. We are afraid that things will not go according to our plans. We let our thoughts run rampant and create all kinds of terrible possibilities that we then have to work to avoid.

The end result is that we spend so much time THINKING about the future, that we miss the moment we are actually in RIGHT NOW.

Time is the only truly finite resource we have. We will never get more of it, we only have so much. And once it is spent, we do not get it back.

So what would it have looked like for me to be present in the moment yesterday morning? I would have been paying full attention to driving. I would have been watching the road, letting the music that I had on enrich the experience, realizing how lucky I am to have another day. How lucky I am to be driving to a place where I can do my heart work. I would have been enjoying a beautiful moment.

When I look back on that morning, I think about how often this happens to me as a parent- I am distracted. And how my true desire is to be fully present with my family, all the time. It’s not that I will never plan for the future. I go to work, I earn money, I pay the bills. But I will not allow all of my thoughts to go there. Going forward, I choose to spend all the wonderful moments that I have with my family being truly present. Not thinking about what could come next, not worrying about the future, money, changes, moving, etc. I will gracefully let those thoughts go whenever they arise. Instead, I choose to enjoy the moment that I’m in right now.

A Few Of My Favorite Things…

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I was preparing to teach a class yesterday morning, and I pulled a book off the shelf at the studio to search for a quote to share. As the Universe would have it, the page that I opened to contained exactly the words that I needed to hear. Even though things like that happen frequently, I’m still so thrilled each time!

Here is what I read, from “Trust Your Vibes” by Sonia Choquette:

“Being passionate about life tends to change your vibration from one of resistance and defense to one of attraction and receptivity. When you love life, life loves you back– so when you dive into it with exuberance and joy, life will reach out and enthusiastically embrace you. The more you love life by fully engaging in what feeds your soul, the more you spread that love around, and in doing so you heal yourself and others.”

“Life lovers have incredible charisma and charm, drawing people to them because their vibration is so soothing and positive. But being such a person isn’t easy, nor is it an accident. It’s much easier to be cynical and dark and argue for why life is miserable. The ego loves to suffer– and the louder, the better. Lovers of life say no to this death sentence, making intentional choices to appreciate and enjoy the gifts that life offers.”

The writer proceeds to get further into the idea that the more you love life, the more that you draw to you everything you need. I’m reading this and realizing just how much this could apply to my life. I am stuck in the ego– stuck in the suffering mentality. At some point, I bought into the idea that I have to sacrifice all of my time and energy in order to run a successful business. It is time to break free and start enjoying life again!

At the end of the chapter, Choquette offers ways to bring this idea into your life:

“Focus on what makes you content and fills you with a sense of satisfaction. Once you identify what brings you joy, seek to indulge in it every day. The more you nurture your spirit, the more attractive to others your energy will be, drawing to you all you need. Stop being too responsible, and make room to have more sweet, soul-soothing moments. See how different life feels when you feed your soul and how differently people act towards you.”

This passage came to me the day after I completed my calendar, scheduling out every single minute of my time. Seriously, I was just showing one of the teachers how full it is, and we couldn’t stop laughing. How terrible! I’ve been telling myself that if I can go against my nature and work within a very specific set schedule, then perhaps I will lower my stress. The reality is, I hate being so strict with my time. And I feel like it limits my ability to live in the flow of life, and do whatever feels right in each moment. So I am back to the drawing board- looking at ways to live more freely and yet stay afloat.

In the meantime, I’m going to spend more time focusing on the joys that are present in my life. Here is a list of some of my favorite things:

- Kissing my little girl’s soft, chubby face. She is so sweet, I can’t get enough!

- Enjoying a chai latte on my way to the studio in the morning. Taking the time to give myself that gift of tasty goodness!

- Sitting quietly in meditation while my yoga students rest in savasana. Feeling their peace and relaxation, just holding space for them. Going within to find peace and relaxation myself.

- Baby snuggle time. Baby hugs. Baby drool kisses. Can’t. Get. Enough.

- Taking an extra-long, extra-hot bath at the end of a long day. Unwinding in silence and letting go of stress.

- Exploring the next level of my yoga practice and loving every minute of the challenge. The giggles that come when I fall down. The amazement that overtakes me when a new pose comes together for the first time!

- Seeing my husband and our baby cuddled up asleep together. They are so in love, could anything be cuter?

- Enjoying a really good vegan dessert. Because seriously, who doesn’t love dessert?

- Loving the people that I work with, the work that I am able to do, and the community that I support. The people who make up the Guru Momma family have no idea the gratitude that they bring me every day. I am so happy that they support what I love!

- Intense, deep conversations with my husband about all aspects of life. I am lucky enough to have my best friend with me every day of my life.

- The wonderful, supportive, kind, caring, joyful women that I am lucky to call friends. Women that inspire me, challenge me, call me out on what I need to see, make me laugh. So much love.

When was the last time that you made a list of your favorite things? Are you living from a place of loving life, or are you like I have been– a slave to responsibility, sacrificing myself every day to a strict schedule and starving your soul of the freedom you desire? What will it take to get back to the sweet, soul-soothing moments?