Category Archives: Business

Jump, And The Net Will Appear…

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Where have I been? That’s a good question. I’ve been riding some pretty tumultuous waves for the last few weeks, culminating in a very abrupt closure of my business yesterday afternoon. Temporary closure, as my intention is set firmly on moving forward as soon as possible.

It has been a really emotional 24 hours. A lot of sudden shifts are appearing all around me. I was expecting life to be business as usual, and instead, here I am at a stand-still.

I decided to step out to the public and make it known that I was having trouble. It took a lot to do that. My ego-self was screaming “NOOOOO!” the whole time. I can still hear it in some moments here and there, protesting the public admittance that my plans have gone awry. I feel a bit naked in front of a crowd. I am a seeming failure, I should be so embarrassed. Yet, I can feel that this is just another shift. It might not look as such from the outside, but from within- my business was unhealthy. I had created it as such because I, too, was unhealthy. My energy was going everywhere except for the places that it needed to be. I was sacrificing myself, all the way to the brink of possibility, to support the healing of others. I was giving everything I had away, forgetting about self-care (the very tenet at the core of my mission). How could it continue in that way?

The answer is that it couldn’t. And just like when we, as individuals, are going about things in a really self-depleting way, the Universe stepped in and put a stop to it. My business was so sick, that the Universe essentially checked it in to the hospital for some complete bed rest. Just like in our own lives, for it to change, the business has to undergo a painful transformation. Leaving our old ways behind is hard. It’s emotional, it’s gut-wrenching, it’s a test of our will to move forward in a new way. We cry, we scream, we cry some more. Most people think we may have lost our minds, but a few see that the path is indeed on the other side of the mountain.

Transition is a difficult place to be.

And yet, here I am. I still have my family. I still have a life. I still have a heart full of love. I still have all the passion in the world for my mission through Guru Momma. I will survive. My work will survive. All appears to be lost, and yet, nothing has been lost at all except for an old, limiting belief system. I am strong and steady, standing still, patiently anticipating my next step.

(If you’d like to support my mission, you can read my letter about fundraising here: www.gurumomma.com)

 

The Rat Race

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When I was growing up, I can remember my mother always complaining about the daily “Rat Race” that people in the working world were subjected to. I never thought much about where the phrase came from, or even thought to picture a bunch of rats racing off every day to do their jobs. Regardless, I think that I might be stuck in the “Rat Race” now.

I’m not sure where the last few days have gone! I’m serious. How did we get to Saturday? I have been running around like a maniac. Or, to use another of my mom’s favorite phrases, like a chicken with my head cut off. (Now that is a gross thing to actually picture!)

It doesn’t help that on top of two jobs and motherhood, I have been planning and executing travel with a baby, plus two birthday parties on opposite sides of the country. But beyond that- this seems to be a common theme in my life, being too busy to even stop and breathe…

And I’m growing concerned that this intensely busy schedule has become normal for me. I’ve been working at this pace for years now, and I didn’t even realize it. I am giving all of my time to the pursuit of livelihood, working to make ends meet with every second that I can manage to give.

What is the one thing that we give that we can never get more of? Time. Once it’s been spent, it’s gone. So all this time that I’ve been giving away? I won’t get it back. I can’t do it over. I want to stop, I want to have my time to myself again.

What is the first step? I’m not entirely sure at the moment. I’m open to any suggestions. The first step I’m planning to try is building out my calendar to include more strict scheduling of my time. Perhaps that will help me find the areas of waste. At least it’s a start.

Do you think that the only way to juggle a family and a business is to sacrifice any and all free time? There has to be a better way! Right? I sure hope so…

When Ego Causes Pain

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There is a certain amount of ego that can come along with running your own business. It’s something that I’ve become more mindful of lately, as I embark on this new level of self exploration. As a yoga teacher, I am placed in the role of providing what could be considered spiritual guidance to my students. As a spiritual teacher of sorts, I know that ego cannot play a role in who I am. Or at least, it cannot take over. I believe that a true spiritual teacher is full of humility and sees a bit of the silliness that is being placed in such a role. Who am I to be a spiritual teacher? I am just one of you, one of all of us.

And so from this place, I’ve started to look at the ways that ego has run rampant, unchecked, in my life over the years. I was experiencing a great deal of stress last week around the idea of being “responsible” for so many people. As a business owner, I was taking full responsibility for the livelihood of each of the studio employees. It was really weighing heavily on me, that somehow if I were to take a misstep and fail, all of these people would suffer as a result. The realization came that this feeling of responsibility for them was actually coming from an ego that had gone awry. I am not the only person who carries the vision of the studio to our customers. I am not the only person who holds space for the people who come in every day. No, we are a team. And the success of the studio is the collective responsibility of everyone who is working there. We all play a part in whether or not our clients choose to stay with us. We are all equals in a sense, even though I have the title of “owner”. What a relief!!

Ego also plays a role in our yoga practices for many people. Who has never looked at someone else on their mat and thought “I should be able to do that. What’s wrong with me that I can’t do that?” I have definitely experienced times when I drove myself too far into a pose that I wasn’t ready for, instead of listening to and honoring my body in the moment. It is a challenge when, for many, the practice of yoga is primarily about the physical results. And yet, the most challenging way for me to practice is from a place of humility. Listening to my body and finding my personal edge in the pose, then staying there even if everyone around me is somewhere else. That is a challenge!

The other piece of my life where I’ve discovered my ego was actually causing me pain was in my personal relationships. I’ve been highly intuitive my entire life, most readily in the form of empathy. I can be speaking with someone or sharing space with someone, and I begin to feel what they are feeling. I’ve always taken this knowledge of other people’s experiences, and used it to change the way I was being in the situation in order to help them feel better. I’ve even been in the habit of using my awareness of their emotions to try and steer them in a certain direction that I deemed to be best for them. I assumed that the gift I was born with was meant to be used for the betterment of those I encounter. At least I can say that, primarily, my intentions have been for the greatest good. But it is incredibly egotistical to believe that I had some kind of better way or right to influence other people because of my gift. Not only that, it has been completely exhausting to have spent every moment calculating how I should be, based on what I’m picking up from those around me. It has been so draining to feel responsible to try and help everyone all of the time. I cannot live this way. I didn’t realize the extent to which I was doing this until very recently, and I am shocked that I had been ignoring such an unbalanced energetic exchange. No wonder I was feeling like the weight of the world was on my shoulders! I was putting it there with grandiose ideas of self importance.

I recognize that I am coming to a place where I truly understand that the answers I have are only the answers for myself. It’s not that what I have learned is useless, it’s just that if other people are interested- they can ask me. It is not my place to assume responsibility for the healing of every human being that I encounter in life. It is only my work to stand with those along the way on their journeys if they request my presence. I have been given the gifts I have to use when it is asked of me, in ways that are for the greatest good of a willing party. It has never been my responsibility to take care of anyone but myself. (And my child. For now. Until one day, I have to pass that responsibility on to her. I hope she takes her dear sweet time being a child, because that will be a rough day for sure.)

The Dance of Illness and Wellness

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Everyone in my household has fallen ill in the last couple of days. The baby has some kind of viral upper respiratory bug, complete with two days of fever and counting. Her doctor says that unless it gets worse, we just have to ride it out until she’s better. My husband went to the emergency room today to find out that he has a 7mm kidney stone. YIKES. So things have been kind of crazy around here.

I’m really grateful that I am feeling well in the midst of all this illness. However, it reminds me of the purpose of illness, the concept surrounding the balance of illness and wellness. Illness arrives in our lives to remind us to slow down, to come to a more relaxed pace, and maybe even reevaluate the tasks we have chosen to take on. Even though I myself am not ill, having a sick baby automatically forces me to slow down as well. I cannot take her into the studio with me, so I must cover my shifts and stay home. This is a huge shift for me, because it involves trusting other people to bring my vision to life at the studio while I am not there. This, I have to admit, is not always an easy thing for me to do.

I really do love and trust the women who are a part of the Guru Momma family. (I hope that none of you reading this are offended! Then again, I’m sure you already see that it’s challenging for me to pass off control…) They are my extended family, people that I look forward to seeing every day. I have to stay aware of the fact that I am leaving responsibility in some very capable hands.

I also really love our clients. I enjoy being present every day to see who shows up, to find out what’s new with them, and to ask how they feel once class has ended.  I feel connected to them, because I am honored to hold space for these enlightened beings along their journey.  And I really do trust the entire staff of Guru Momma to honor them at the same level.

So what makes it so difficult for me to step back and stay home? To slow my pace and take some time to rest while I help my family to heal? I think it comes down to ego. I find myself subconsciously assuming that nobody else could do whatever I do every day in the same ways that I do. And I suppose that’s correct, because no other person would do everything identically. But that doesn’t mean that the people I leave in charge won’t do things WELL. That’s what I need to remember. My ways are not the only ways, and they are not necessarily the best ways either. It may be my studio, but I am not the only one who values what we do for people. I am not the only one who loves the staff, loves our clients, and has a vested interest in the success of the business.

I will continue to work on letting go of control, of delegating tasks to my wonderful staff and then trusting whatever way they choose to complete those tasks. I will love them unconditionally, for all of their unique and creative approaches to their work. I will honor my employees when they do things differently than I would, and I will even see that sometimes they are better suited to certain tasks than I am. In doing so, I will continue in the dance of illness and wellness, aiming to move more towards the balance of wellness every day.

Be Careful What You Ask For…

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I woke up this morning, and the state of affairs at the studio was on my mind. As a new business, we are still day-to-day when it comes to bringing in the money that we need to stay afloat. Generally speaking, I consider myself to be up to the challenge of handling the “what ifs” of a small business owner. I run the studio from a place of understanding that the Universe will direct things to play out in whatever way is best suited to my growth and learning in this life. But I also believe that running a successful business requires hard work and sometimes long hours. In other words, I can’t just sit back and expect the Universe to reward me when I haven’t done anything in the first place. I live a balance of these two ideas, part “Trust the Universe” and part “Work my @*$ off”.

There have definitely been moments along the way when I wasn’t sure that I could afford to put food on the table at home and still keep the doors open. And yet, here I am. This space is my passion. I wholeheartedly believe in the power of yoga to transform people’s lives, because I have lived it. I believe that mothers should have a space to be included in the progression towards greater consciousness in the world. I believe that the nurturers deserve to be nurtured as well. Not only that, moms NEED support and love. It is essential to the well-being of an entire family that the momma is getting some time to herself, some space to breathe. A conscious, connected, healthy momma will raise conscious, connected, healthy children. And that is the change that I want to see in the world. Bottom line: I LOVE what I do. I LOVE our clients. I LOVE their kids. This, right here, is exactly what I want to be doing.

Well, this morning I woke up and my first thought was to ask for a small miracle. I need a small miracle. Not a huge miracle, but just enough. I need the budget to balance out. Because I want to take this vision to a higher level. That is my purpose here, on this earth. To hold space for other people’s healing. To support the unsupported. To help moms who give all their love away find the value in sending some of that love back to themselves.

This afternoon I got a phone call, returning a call that I made about six months ago.  On that call, I was offered an opportunity for free marketing to a large audience, with an almost guaranteed income as a result. I am beyond thrilled, and of course I can’t help but notice that the timing was perfect. I am so grateful for my small miracle!

Day One

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Welcome to my blog about life as a mommy, yogi, and entrepreneur. I am looking forward to beginning this journey of sharing my thoughts and experiences with all of you. I can only hope that what I have to offer will be a positive addition to the blogging world. My intention is to create a space where we can support each other in all of our endeavors, and recognize that just because we have small children doesn’t mean that we can’t advance in the business world. So I guess I should just jump right in…

Oh, has it ever been a season of change in my life! In the past month, the entire structure of my yoga studio has changed, as my business partner Jen has stepped away to do her own thing, and I am taking over as the sole owner. I am so thrilled for her as she is following her true path, though it is bittersweet as that happens to be leading her away from Guru Momma. The truth is, this business probably would not exist if it weren’t for Jen and all of her amazing gifts. I myself happen to be a dreamer, if I had to categorize my habits. I could come up with about a million ideas for amazing things I want to do, but it is a rare day when I can remain focused enough to turn any of those ideas into reality. And so, when Jen and I started discussing opening a studio, she remained grounded in the manifestation of the space, while I floated up in the ethers of creativity and ideas. I truly believe that she stepped in to my life not only to be a great friend, but to lead me into living my true passion. She has taught me so much about how to generate a real-life business from a spark of thought. I am so blessed to carry on the mission of the studio from this point forward, and I will work even harder towards success because of the motivation and inspiration she has brought me. She will always hold a special place in my heart. And so, it is not really an ending at all, just a change that will help bring both of us more in alignment with our true selves.

In the past month, my husband and I have also moved our family in with his mother on a temporary basis. Wow, this experience has really opened me up to accepting the guidance of the Universe without question. When the idea first came up, I was incredibly unsure of how it would all work out. In our society, we consider something like moving back in with a parent to be quite a failure. So as I was faced with this choice, I really struggled to find a way to look at it positively. I am an introverted person at heart, and I have always appreciated my space and some regular, quality alone time. Well, four people living in a 1000 square foot apartment definitely doesn’t allow for a lot of space or time to myself. But I’m learning to balance those needs through my yoga practice, and with some alone time at the studio. I recognize that this is just, quite simply, the best arrangement for my family at this time. I love my mother-in-law, and she is a very respectful and kind person to share a space with. I am thankful to have a great relationship with her, and I love seeing a deeper connection develop between her and my daughter. And, I keep reminding myself, this is not going to be forever.

All in all, the changes that I have been seeing are bringing me to a greater awareness of the need for me to focus on caring for myself. I am pressed for time, and don’t have the space I’m used to, so I’m having to be more conscious of addressing these needs in other ways. I have been scheduling regular massages, and jumping in to take yoga classes more frequently than I used to. I am practicing daily energetic clearings to stay more balanced, and using meditation to find silence within. The one thing that I hold close to my heart in these times of transition is the knowledge that sweeping change always brings me to a better place in the end. And while the process is challenging and sometimes overwhelming, I do know that I am just being prepared for the next level of life that will soon be here. May I just manage to hold on to my health and sanity in the meantime…